Sunday, February 7, 2010

Our Deepest Fear

Shiloh and I watched Coach Carter about a month ago and I forgot how much I love that movie. During the movie Coach Carter keeps asking one of his players what his deepest fear is and in the very end he finally tells him. (This isn't the exact same as what they say in he movie, this is the real quote.)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

^^ Marianne Williamson

I love this because it explains what my life feels like sometimes. We have had a fair share of trials this past year with jobs and just life in general. It is hard being at a stand still when school is over and you expect life to all the sudden begin but it doesn't work out quite like you had hoped. We had also been trying for a baby for a little over a year and I know that is nothing to some couples but we didn't have a hard time getting pregnant with our first two so I didn't expect any complications with getting pregnant again. It just through us for a loop a little bit. Anyways, lately we have been realizing the blessings of everything that has happened, or better yet, everything that has not happened. We have seen that things are working out in the right time and the right place. As much as I would have loved Shiloh to have found a job right after he graduated, he is finally starting his own little business up, and that is exciting and scary at the same time. But had he gotten a job he wouldn't have entertained this idea and we both feel really really good about it so I think it was just another blessing in disguise. Also after over a year we just got pregnant at the perfect time. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing, I just forget to have faith in his plan sometimes and I forget to have faith in myself. You know, the funny thing is, when we got pregnant I couldn't help but wonder why I got pregnant when so many deserving and special women haven't been able to. Why was I the one, surely I didn't deserve this as much as they did. This is the reason I love the quote so much. We do deserve this, Heavenly Father knows the desires of my heart and knows what is best for us. I am curious to see how this next year goes with a new baby and a new company. Needless to say, we have been blessed and we are very grateful.

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